Emmets Evil Squirrels
by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Summary: this is what i think would happen if Emmett and Jasper were left alone for a little while. Fun and mayhem including some hobo's and a squirrel. this is my first fanfic so please tell me what you think and how i can improve. xxx please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : anybody in this story is not mine, but hell I wish they were!

Emmet's Evil Squirrels

**This is my first fanfic so don't be mean!!!**

Emmet's POV

"Ugh I'm so bored" I said.

"Tell me about it!" said Jasper

"What the hell are we gonna do. I mean, Edward and Bella have gone who knows where, Alice and Rose have gone to New York to go shopping, and Carlisle and Esme are being all lovey-dovey – you know when they get like that; it's basically pointless to talk to them." I said miserably.

"Erm, we could watch TV?" suggested Jasper

"We've been doing that for the past 10 hours" I said

"Yeah, well, we could always watch more!" said Jasper

"Nah. I can't be bothered with this anymore. There's only stupid stuff on. No baseball, basketball, football, anything!" I said.

"Well what do you want me to do about it? I know I can control what people think, but I can't control what's on TV!" Jasper said.

"Erm, we could arm – wrestle?" I suggested

"Yeah right – you just want to do that cos you know you're gonna win, and then it's no fun for me!" said Jasper.

An idea just started forming in my head. "Well, we could always go to Seattle!" I said.

"And do what? We're _not_ going shopping cos the girls always want us to do that." Said Jasper

"Well, we could make ourselves look really hot, and go mess with hot girls, and you can mess with their heads!" I said. This is gonna be so fun! I just need to talk Jasper into it………………..

"No way! The girls would kill us if they found out!" said Jasper. "What's more, Carlisle will be really pissed that we're messing around with humans. And what if one of us loses control around one of those girls!"

"Oh, come on! I mean, who said that Carlisle or the girls have to find out about this. Anyway, we've been into big cities before and you've never lost you're cool. C'mon, it'll be fine!" I said

"No, I don't want to put people at risk. Anyway, what the hell are we gonna do round there! We've been to Seattle loads of time's, and it's never really been fun." Jasper said.

"C'mon, messing with all those girls is gonna be so fun! And we can also go piss random hobo's off, maybe even vampirize one. Or we can set evil vampire animals out in random stores." I said.

"Well, that does sound fun……………I'm just not sure. I mean, I almost killed Bella that time on her birthday, and look what happened after that!" Jasper said.

"Oh please, it'll be fine. I mean, anything is better than just sitting here." I said.

"No, I'm not going. Its too dangerous." Said Jasper

"Well, even if you're not going, I am. And you've got to agree, anything is better than just sitting around doing nothing." I said.

"Oh fine, I'll come. But promise not to do anything too dangerous." Jasper said.

Yessssssssssssss. I knew I'd persuade him. Now, to go and make ourselves look irresistible. I mean, I know I already do look amazing, but a shower and clean clothes will always help. This is gonna be so funny……………………………………….


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jaspers POV

I'm starting to have second thoughts about this…………..

First, Emmett insisted that we both put on our best clothes and cologne and shower – in other words, he's planning something special. He also had a very strange vibe around him which I don't know how to place, but I'm guessing that it's somewhere between excited and hyper. That's not exactly surprising, as Emmett's always hyper, so I'm not sure if its just him or something to do with what's we're going to do. Oh god I wish I had Edward here to tell me what he's thinking.

"Jasper hurry up. What's taking you so long?" Emmett said

"Well, you said to have a good shower so I did. Anyway, I can't find the shirt you told me to wear." I said. I know that's not true, the shirt is right next to me, but I don't really feel like going with Emmett like this. I'd better put the shirt on before Emmett crashes down the door. I let a wave of calmness hit Emmett, who instantly calmed down.

"Hey! What the hell! It took me ages to get that hyper! Jasper c'mon, it won't be fun if we're not really hyper!" Emmett said.

I said "Well that's just too bad. If you're crazy like that, you're going to crash down a building or something. And we don't want to make Carlisle suspicious, and we definitely don't want a visit from the Volturi after all the stuff that happened with Edward."

"Oh, please. I'm not going to kill a building. I'm not that much of an idiot." Emmett said.

"Really? Cos it doesn't seem that way to me." I said.

"Jasper, I'll be careful. I promise. Just please, it won't be fun if we're not hyper." Emmett said.

"Ugh, fine then." I said. I made him hyper again.

"Woooooooooooooooooooo! Ah, the joys of hyperness!" he shouted.

"Shhhhhh! Shut up, or Carlisle is going to come and be all suspicious, and give us one of his hour- long lectures." I said. Too late. I already heard Carlisle coming upstairs.

"Emmett, what are you doing? I know I have supernatural ears, but I think the people in Seattle could have heard that." He said

"Sorry. Jasper just made me really hyper." Emmett said

"You asked for it. Literally." I said

"Yeah, well, I'm ten times more hyper than I was in the first place." Emmett said

"It's not my fault. You know my powers always go to extremes." I said

"You're acting like three – year – olds. Just please be quiet, and try to be a bit more careful" Carlisle said.

"Sorry" I said.

"Why are you two all dressed up anyway?" Carlisle said

Oh no. there's no way we're going to get out of this one.

"We're going to Seattle" Emmett said.

What an idiot! What are we going to tell Carlisle now! There's no way he's going to believe that we're going shopping or something like that.

"What are you going to do in Seattle?" Carlisle asked

"We're going shopping" Emmett said.

My brother is the biggest idiot in the world.

"You're going shopping." Carlisle said sarcastically

"Yep." Emmett said

"Really." Carlisle asked

"Yeah." Emmett said.

"And what are you going to buy." Carlisle asked

"A dress or handbags or shoes or something like that" Emmett said.

Jesus. Sometimes I really ask myself why I listened to Alice and joined this family of weirdo's.

"Are you serious?" Carlisle asked

"Yeah. We just want to show the girls that we've really missed them and that we weren't just forgetting them while they're away." Said Emmett

"That's very thoughtful of you, guys. They'll definitely appreciate that." Carlisle said.

Wow. That was a good one. Sometimes I have to hand it to him; he is much cleverer than he comes across, and he's the best at making up excuses.

Carlisle slowly waked back downstairs, but I could feel that he totally bought it, and wasn't in the least suspicious. We went out to the garage.

"So, which car do you want to take?" Emmett asked

"We should borrow Bella's Ferrari. I'm sure she won't mind." I said.

"Yeah. Come on then!" Emmett said. "I'm driving, by the way."

About half an hour later, we were speeding along the highway at about 200 miles per hour.

"How the hell did you manage to make up that excuse! Carlisle totally bought it!" I said

"Yeah, well, you know I'm the master." Emmett said

"We do actually have to get stuff for the girls now though. Carlisle's going to be really suspicious if we come home without something." I said.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Emmet's POV

"So, little brother. What do you want to do first?" I asked

"Hey. I'm not little! I'm much older than you, actually." He said

"Yeah, well, I'm much bigger than you" I said

"Well, I can't exactly choose how big I am. Technically you're my little brother." He said.

"Ok, Ok, little brother. What do you want to do?" I said

"Well, we should probably go get something for the girls first, so that's out of the way." He said.

"Ugh, I hate shopping. Do we really have to do that?" I said

"Yes, we do. You made up the excuse that we were shopping for the girls, so now we have to do it or Carlisle's gonna be pissed." He said

"Fine then. Where shall we go?" I asked

"We should probably go to Chanel or something like that, and then maybe get them some make – up from Dior." He said.

"You're such a girl, Jasper. How do you know all the brands where they want their stuff from." I said.

"Alice has been bugging me for ages about all the stuff she wants. Day and Night, she's always talking about that Armani stuff she wants and those sunglasses from Chanel and all that stuff." He said.

"Yeah, well, I still think you're a girl inside." I said

"No I'm not!" He said

"Wanna fight about it?" I said

"When we get home. I don't want to crash a building or something, but yes I will fight you when we get home." Jasper said

"Well OK then. If I win. The you're a girl." I said

"And if I win, you have to give me your car." Jasper said

"What! My car! Absolutely no way!" I said

I love my car. I've had so many experiences with it, some good, and some bad like when Bella was being hunted by James. Ah, it felt good to kill that bastard for trying to kill my little sister.

"Well, you could always forfeit, if you think you'll lose your car." Jasper said

"No, no, I'll fight" I said

"OK, lets go to Chanel then." He said

***

"Ok, we're finally here." I said

"Let's not be in there too long. Just in and out, to get them something." He said

"Sure" I said, and we went in. It smelled really bad, but I think it was meant to smell good to humans. I prefer the smell of other vampires; it's much nicer and intricate, especially my own Rosalie.

"Wow, I think Alice'll like this!" Jasper said, picking a floaty printed dress out of the assortment of dresses.

"Yeah, it's nice. She'll probably want a new pair of shoes to go with it though." I said. I suddenly caught sight of a gorgeous tight black dress for Rosalie

"I'm buying this one for Rose" I said

"Ok then, let's go pay and get out of here." Jasper said

"I'll be pleased to. This perfume hurts my nose even more than those scumbag wolves" I said. Even though Renesmee was in love with a wolf, I still hated most of the pack, but I was slowly getting used to Jacob.

"Don't say that. Renesmee will kill you." He said

"Yeah, whatever. They still stink. I don't know how she can take it!" I said. Jasper had meanwhile paid for the clothes, so we left the shop.

"What are we going to do now?" Jasper asked

"Well, I think we should go mess about with some of the girls round here." I said

"Sounds like a plan. Where shall we go?" He asked

"We should probably go to Starbucks. Loads of girls are in there." I said

"Sure" He said

We walked across the street to Starbucks, and sat down at a table. We both ordered coffees, and sat down. I said very quietly so only Jasper could hear "There are so many hot girls here. Look at them blondes over at that table!" and pointed to the table to the right. "Mess with their heads and make them _really _outgoing. They're looking at us, so they'll probably come over here." I said

"Sure" He said, and almost immediately two of them got up and started walking to our table.

"Perfect. They're coming here" I said very quietly.

"Hey. What's your name? I'm Lucy." The shorter one of the blondes said to me

"I'm Emmett." I said

"I'm Emily by the way" The taller one said to Jasper.

"Hi, I'm Jasper." He said

"And what are you fine ladies doing round here today?" I asked

"Nothing really. We've got dates later on, but we're probably going to ditch them losers." Lucy said

I saw Jasper wink at me really quickly so the girls couldn't see, which meant he was going to do something. Almost immediately, both of the girls looked at each other, and kissed us.

"What the hell!" I said "Sorry, but we've both got girlfriends and you said you've got dates."

"Oh………………." Emily said

"Well, we'd better get going" Lucy said

"Bye" I said

As soon as the girls had left, we both started laughing.

"That was sooooo funny!" Jasper said

"Did you see the look on Emily's face when you told her we both had girlfriends!" I said.

"Ah, that was awesome." Jasper said

"C'mon, let's go and do stuff to people on the streets" I said.

Jasper paid for the bill, and then grinned at me. The girl behind the cashier suddenly fell asleep on the counter. One of the girls next to her, who was obviously the boss or something like that, started screaming at her "What the hell Laura! That's the second time you've fallen asleep on the job. One more time and I'm gonna have to fire you!" she said.

We walked out of Starbucks, and as soon as we were out, started cracking up.

"Oh my god that was awesome!" I said

"Hell yeah! We almost got her fired as well!" He said

"See, I told you this was a good idea!" I said "I love your gift so much!"

"Yeah, I know I'm awesome." He said

"I think we should just walk around and mess with people." I said

"Yeah" he said

After walking down the street for a few minutes, a businessman next to us suddenly started swaying and walked straight into a lamp post, and all the papers in his briefcase flew out when he fell to the ground, fast asleep.

"Was that you?!" I asked "Cos that was funny"

"Yep, it was me!" Jasper said.

After that, a very fat girl spontaneously started pulling a random men next to her on the street, and he slapped her. One man started humping a lamp – post, and one crazy 70 – year old suddenly jumped into the street, and caused a traffic accident.

"This is possibly one of the best ideas you've ever had, Emmett" Jasper said

"I know, I'm amazing." I said

"What shall we do next?" Jasper asked

"Let's go piss off hobo's, and vampirize animals in the park.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jasper's POV

"So, where are we gonna go terrorize hobo's?" I asked

"Well. Where do hobo's live?" He asked

"In the subway!" I said "Loads of hobo's live there!" I said

"Well, let's go!" He said

We started walking down the street to the nearest subway station. We walked down what was obviously a popular shopping street, with shops like Abercrombie, Hollister, Topshop, New Look and all the other major high street brands.

"In here, little brother?" Emmett asked

"For god's sake, I'm not your little brother! I'm your big brother!" I said

"OK then, big brother. Are we going in here?" Emmett asked

"I guess" I said, and we walked inside.

A man on the street pushed a newspaper into our hands and said

"Would you like the newest edition of the Times? It has a free kids DVD in it!"

"We're not kids, and no, we don't want it." I said

"Oh come on. I'm sure you'd like to watch The Lion King or Kung Fu Panda tonight!" He said

"No, we don't want to. We have girlfriends coming over." I said

"Are you sure? It's high quality and not pirated!" He said

"Look, if you say one more word to me, my brother's gonna have to sort you out. And trust me, you don't want that." I said. He took one look at Emmett and said nervously "Well, you have fun with your girlfriends later on!"

"Trust me, we will. Now get out of my face!" I said, and walked away.

"Well, shall we go piss off that hobo?" Emmett said

"I don't know if we should, I mean it might get a bit violent." I said

"The more violence, the better!" Emmett said

"I know but I don't want to end up really hurting someone, even if it is just a homeless dude." I said

"Trust me, it'll be fine." Emmett said

"OK then, shall we go and piss that dude off?" I said, and pointed and a homeless guy in a cardboard box who obviously hadn't washed in weeks, who had only a sleeping bag and a box for company.

"Yeah!" Emmett said

"Well, what shall we do?" I said

"I'll show you." Emmett said. He walked up to the box the guy was sleeping in, and kicked it and then tipped it sideways.

"What the hell! I'm trying to frickin' sleep here!" He shouted angrily at Emmett. To our surprise, he got out of the box and started running towards us.

"What shall we do!" I hissed quietly at Emmett

"Run, idiot!" He replied

We started running at what was meant to be a normal human pace, but seeing the looks we were getting from people, it was probably a bit faster. However, they could also have been staring at us for terrorizing hobo's and then being chased by one.

"Hey, you get back here! When I catch you, you're going to regret it! I'm gonna teach you a little lesson about respect!" the hobo said

"If you can catch us!" Emmett shouted.

"Oh trust me, I will!" the hobo said

We started running a bit faster, but after a few seconds the hobo's angry shouts quietened. We looked back, and saw him dialing a pay – phone. Since we could hear him very clearly even though he was at the other end of the station, and heard him say "Yes, hi, I'm in the South Seattle subway station. Yes, I'm calling to report a case of vandalism. Yes, they were a pair of very pale boys, one who was slim and blonde, and the other very muscled and with curly black hair. Yes, they're still in the area. OK, I'll wait here for you."

"Shit! He's called the cops on us!" I said

"Uh – oh" Emmett said

We looked at each other, and ran at human pace out of the Subway. We ran to the outskirts of the city, and ran at our normal pace around the city to the North side.

"Ok, I don't think they'll bother to look this far for us." Emmett said.

"You stupid idiot!" I screamed at him

"We would've been put in frickin' jail if we couldn't run as fast as we could!" I said

"Chill, dude. It was fun. You should enjoy stuff like that more." Emmett said

"Are you saying that you enjoy the prospect of being put in jail for vandalism!" I screamed

"Look, they never had a chance of catching us. It was a joke!" He said

"That's true. But you have to promise me you'll be a bit more responsible." I said

"Ok. Whatever we do here for the rest of today, I'll clear it with you first." He said

"OK. I have to admit, it was actually quite funny how that guy just suddenly got up and started chasing us. I mean, as if he ever had a chance of catching us!" I said

"Yeah, that's more like it! You should have seen his face aswell! It was so funny!" Emmett said

"Yeah. We should probably hang around here for a bit, you know. Let the cops clear before we go home." I said

"Yeah. Let's hang around I the park. I really want to have a go at vampirizing a squirrel." Emmett said.

"Let's go." I said

**Well, what did you think? Please hit the magic button below, and give me some of your thoughts and ideas.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Emmett's POV

"We're here" Jasper said

"Finally. Everything's so slow when you have to do it at human pace." I complained.

I looked around the park. The grass had been freshly mowed, the sun was shining, and the pond was clean. I guess it would have been beautiful to some, but I'd seen things more beautiful. I looked around more carefully, to see that there were ducks, dogs, cats, birds, geese and a swan but not a single squirrel.

"Why so silent, little brother?" Jasper asked

"There aren't any squirrels!" I said

"Is that such a problem?" Jasper asked

"Yes, it is actually." I pointed out

"Why?" He asked

"Well, I wanted to vampirize one." I said

"You could always vampirize a duck." He said

"That won't be as fun though." I whined

"You're such a two year old Emmett" He said

"Well, you know what they say" I said

"No, I don't know. What do they say?" He asked

"The more you learn, the less you know." I said

"Nobody says that! It is true though. Every time we go to high school, we just get stupider." He said

"Well, I want to vampirize a squirrel." I said

"I can't exactly do anything about it." He explained, sounding a bit exasperated, like he was talking to a three year old who kept asking the same question, which it was like in some ways.

"Can we go to the other park near our car? The cops will have cleared up by now and we can get back in the car as soon as we are finished." I said

"But then we have to run all the way back." He complained

"It's not exactly gonna tire us out, and we'll be there in a few minutes." I argued

"I guess we will have to run back there anyway, and sooner rather than later." He said, almost like he was thinking out loud.

"So let's go." I said

"I'll race you!" Jasper said

"Sure. But you know I'm gonna win." I said

"Your ego is so massive." He said

"OK then. If I win, I get……………oh wait, you're so sad that I don't want anything you have." I teased

"Oh give over. I know you want my signed baseball bat really badly." He said sarcastically

"Never mind. Let's just race." I said

"3, 2, 1, GO" He shouted. I may have jumped the gun slightly, but I don't think Jasper realized.

"You cheater! You started way before I said go!" Jasper said indignantly

"I didn't think you'd realize." I said

"Well, I have vampire eyes, remember! You're way too used to hanging out with Bella from when she was still human." He said

We ran for a few minutes giving the town a wide birth, and reached the car park ion less than five minutes.

"OK, shall we go to the park?" I asked, getting all excited about the squirrels I was going to vampirize.

"Yeah. Let's go." He agreed.

It took us about 3 minutes to get to the park. It was full of happy little squirrels, but I didn't know which one to pick. In the end I was stuck between a little dark brown one, and a big fat one that was a bit greyer than the other.

"OK, I want that one." I said decidedly, and pointed at the fat one.

"Well go get it then." Jasper said

I looked around to check nobody was looking at us, then scaled the tree and grabbed the squirrel as fast as I could. It took no longer than 3 seconds. When I got back down to Jasper, it started squirming in my hand, probably because it was too cold for its liking.

"It's so fat, why didn't you choose a skinny one." Jasper said

"Well, I wanted to see if it would stay fat or get skinny when I bite it." I said

"Bite it, quick, its getting uncomfortable." Jasper said

I bit it quickly, and suddenly it started to turn white. Funnily enough, the change only took about 30 seconds.

"Hey look, it's white and has red eyes. I hadn't been expecting that to happen." Jasper said "It's still fat as well."

"OW! Shit! It bit my hand!" I exclaimed

"You'll get over it." Jasper said

"It's really cold." I said

"Yeah, it's a vampire now, duh!" Jasper said

"What are we going to do with it?" I asked

"Let it loose in that shop over there I want to see what it does." Jasper asked.

We walked over to the shop, and I put Fatty (as I had christened it) down on a clothes rack. It started scampering around, and jumped onto an old lady's hat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" There's a squirrel on my head!" The old lady screamed

"What an old loser" I sniggered

"This is so funny!" Jasper agreed

We tried to leave the shop without making ourselves look too ridiculous, but Jasper tripped over a clothes rack in his rush to get out, and fell flat on his face. He left a slight dent I the floor.

"Jasper you idiot! You've dented the floor!" I hissed at him

"Let's go." Jasper replied

As soon as we went out, we looked back into the shop and saw the squirrel messing up piles of clothes and causing complete havoc in the shop.

"I hope it won't spread its vampirism to other squirrels." I said

"I don't think it will. We should probably go home now though." Jasper said

"Yeah. Let's go back to the car." I said

"You mean Bella's car." Jasper pointed out

"Yeah, yeah, same thing." I said

We started walking back to the car, when we saw the hobo again.

"Look! There's that hobo that called the cops on us!" I said

"OK, just try and make it to the lift without attracting too much attention." Jasper advised

However, in my rush to get to the lift, I accidentally bowled over an old lady. We caused a massive commotion, and the hobo saw us.

"There you are again. You little vandals!" He screamed, and started chasing us.

We took the stairs down to the car park, and flew towards the car. We quickly got in, started the motor, and sped away, but not before we heard him say

"I will get you!"

We drove back to the house, and crept in as inconspicuously as possible.

"Hi boys, what did you get for your wives?" Esme said

"It's in the car. I'll go and get it now." I said, but not before Carlisle saw the news.

"What's this boys, because it looks exactly like your faces on the TV." Carlisle asked

"Erm, I don't know" Jasper said

"Because it says here that two boys who look exactly like you, on charge for vandalism in Seattle." Carlisle said

"Erm, I don't know?" I said

The TV suddenly flicked to a picture of Fatty, being held by a TV reporter.

"And this looks very much like a vampire squirrel." Carlisle said

"Yeah, about that." I said


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"You created a vampire squirrel." Carlisle said sarcastically

"Uh, we might have…………." I said

"You mean _you_ might have. I didn't have anything to do with it." Jasper pointed out

"Um, yeah, but you could've stopped me." I said

"Well, it's not up to me whether you do things or not." Jasper said

"Yeah, but you thought it was funny as well. And you seemed to think it was a good idea at the time." I replied

"Oh just please stop acting like 3 year olds. Emmett, it was stupid of you to do this and Jasper, you should have stopped him." Carlisle said

"Well, what are we going to do about it?" Jasper asked

"We're going to have to kill it." Carlisle said

"WHAT! NO! You can't kill Fatty! He's special to me!" I said

"You called it Fatty." Carlisle said sarcastically

"Yes, I did, cos it was very fat." I replied

"Emmett, you are such a stupid vampire. You'd think that you would be cleverer after doing high school almost 10 times, but no."

"That's exactly what I said." Jasper said

"No it's not, I said that." I said

"I said it." Jasper said stubbornly

"No you didn't, I said it first." I said

"No, I did." Jasper replied

"NO YOU DIDN'T! I FREAKING SAID IT FIRST OK!" I shouted

"Ok, ok, you said it first." Jasper said

"I'm sorry Emmett, but we're going to have to kill Fatty." Carlisle said evenly, keeping his cool as usual. Sometimes it annoys me how he never gets angry, but he's always calm and level – headed. He needs some passion.

"Well, fine then. But you're going to have to do it without me cos I won't kill Fatty. He's a special squirrel." I said

"Emmett, you're going to have to come. You're the only one who can kill him, cos you're the one who made him. Unless you want a whole colony of blood – sucking squirrels and a little visit from the Volturi." Carlisle explained

"Fine then." I said

We called Edward and Bella, who had since come back from wherever they were before.

"Edward, Bella, we're going to have to go and track down Emmett's evil vampire squirrel." Carlisle shouted up the stairs, even though he knew they could hear him even if he whispered.

"Yeah, I heard." Edward said

They came down the stairs, and Bella was giving me a funny look. I still wasn't used to her gold eyes and pale skin, even though she had been a vampire for the best part of the last year.

"Why are you looking at me funny, little sister?" I asked her

"Yeah, he is weird, I know." Edward said

Bella had since learnt how to put her mental shield around other people and completely take it off herself.

"Hey, what did you just think to him?" I said angrily, but I was a little curious what they had to say.

"She asked if you were mentally retarded for calling the squirrel Fatty." Edward said

"No, it's just really fat." I said

"I've left Nessie with Jacob at La Push, so we don't have to worry about that." Bella said

"Well, let's go then!" I said, but still a little bit pissed cos I had to kill Fatty.

We started running in the general direction of Seattle. Carlisle told us to stop, in a clearing, and then he gave us a little briefing on vampire squirrels

"Vampire animals can only be killed by their creator. As you probably noticed, they change in a matter of seconds, and go cold, whit and get red eyes. There are many vampire animals around, known by humans as albino's. What they don't know is, they are actually blood sucking parasites. However, they only have to drink every year or two, so they remain fairly inconspicuous. The problem is, they breed very fast if not held captive, so we have to find Fatty as quickly as possible. The only way to kill them is to – guess what – break them up into little pieces and burn them. For it to really be dead, Emmett has to rip it apart and burn it, otherwise it will come together again. We're only here to catch the thing, as unfortunately it is just as fast and clever as us. However, as it takes on some of the creator's attributes, it will probably be a little bit stupider than normal. Everybody clear?"

"Yeah."

"Yup."

"Sure."

"Hey! I'm not stupid!" I said

Everyone looked at me when I said that.

"Let's go." Carlisle commanded

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jaspers POV

"I don't want to kill him." Emmett whispered dejectedly

We had gone to the park, and now it was the dead of night. Almost everyone was in bed, and I'd only seen two cars so far.

"There it is" Edward whispered

"OK, let's go and get it!" Rosalie whispered excitedly

"Why are we all whispering?" I asked

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Carlisle hissed

"OK then! Chill!" I whispered

To tell the truth, I don't really want to kill Fatty either, as I co – created him, but I guess it has to be done. I definitely don't want another visit from the Volturi so soon after the incident with Nessie. She is about the size of a 7 – year – old, even though she is really only a year old. She is perfectly content with staying with Jacob all day, but she hardly ever sleeps which annoys Jacob a lot and she stinks really badly when she comes home again.

"Shall we go chase it?" Alice asked

"Not yet. We have to wait till it is completely relaxed. You have to remember it has just as good smell and hearing and speed as us, but probably with all eight of us we will be able to catch it." Carlisle said

"Just say when." Bella said

We waited for about 5 minutes, before Carlisle shouted "GO!"

Fatty looked up and saw us running at him, and almost immediately ran off away from us. We could catch up with him though.

"Bella and Edward, you're the fastest. You go as fast as you can and try to get in front of it and round it up. Emmett and Rosalie, you go round the sides." Carlisle ordered

"What about me! I'm fast too!" I complained

"Yes but you have to stay here with Alice, Esme and me to try and catch it." Carlisle explained

"Yeah, well. I still think I'm faster than that stupid lump Emmett." I grumbled.

"Jasper, you're such a three – year – old. Thanks for the dress from Chanel by the way! It's really nice!" Alice said

"You're welcome." I said, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek

She almost immediately turned round and started kissing me properly.

"Come on lovebirds. We have a fat vampire squirrel to catch." Emmett said

"Yeah, why did you actually pick the fattest one Emmett?" Bella asked

"Dunno. I thought it would be funnier." Emmett replied

"Got it!" Edward shouted.

"Ah! Jesus that's cold!" Edward said, and it slipped out of his hands

"You're such an idiot. Why did you let it go?!" Rosalie scolded

"Well you could've warned me" Edward said

"Yes, I should've warned you that it's a lot colder than us." Carlisle said

"Well, let's go catch it again" I said

"OW! Crap!" Emmett said

"What've you done this time Emmett" I said

"I bumped my head on a big branch." Emmmett said

"You're such an idiot. You should've ducked under it." I said

"I was focusing on running. Edward and Bella are _really _fast." He said

"Yeah, well just cos they're better than you doesn't make you any less stupid." Rosalie pointed out

"Rose, you're my wife! You're meant to be on my side!" Emmett complained

"I should _not_ have married such a stupid vampire." Rosalie sighed

"Well too bad. You can't un – marry me now!" Emmett said

"The word is _divorce_." Alice pointed out to my incredibly stupid brother

"Yeah, yeah. Same difference." Emmett said

"YES!" Bella shouted. Fatty was trying to wriggle away, but she held him in her strong, new – born grip.

"Emmett?" Carlisle said

"Yes, I'll kill it." He sighed

"Jasper, Alice, get a fire started." Carlisle ordered. Even though he said no – one was the leader in this family; it was obvious to the rest of us that he was, so I obeyed him.

We ran far to the other side of the park to talk.

"He is the biggest idiot in the world." Alice said

"We so shouldn't have joined this family of weirdo's." I said

"Hmmmmmmmmmm. I guess we can't leave now though. We're already too attached." Alice said

"I missed you so much." I said

I leaned in to kiss her. We kissed for a long time, until a loud squeal made us jump.

"What the hell was that!" Alice exclaimed

"Probably Fatty." I said

"We'd better get some wood for the fire." Alice said

We both started gathering twigs and branches as fast as we could, and ran back to Carlisle with an armful of branches

"Ew. What is that?!" Alice said

**Edward's POV**

"That is the remains of Fatty the squirrel." I said

"I'm sorry Fatty. I had to." Emmett said to the pieces of his squirrel

"I'm sorry, are you actually talking to a ripped up vampire squirrel." Rosalie said

"Yes, in fact, I am." Emmett said

"It's dead for god' sake." Rosalie said

"Yes, but he was special to me." Emmett whined

"Just burn it." Bella said impatiently

Jasper and I started up the fire, and Emmett carefully put the pieces of Fatty on the fire, and created clouds of white smoke.

"Ugh that smells foul. Only you would have taken the fattest _and _the smelliest squirrel in the park." Rosalie whined.

"Well, let's go back home." Carlisle said, once the fire had stopped and we made sure Fatty would never be re – born. "It's getting close to dawn."

We ran back home, and arrived back at about 7:30

"Hey, we were still going to do a re – match on that race that you jumped the gun on." Jasper said

"Well, let's go then. Who wants to be the referee?" Jasper said

"No"

"Nope."

"Yeah right."

" No way."

"Absolutely not."

"Well, I guess that leaves you, Edward." Jasper said

Oh no.

We ran to the starting point.

"Ok, you have to run along the river right to the source, and back here again." I declared

"OK"

"Sure"

"3, 2, 1, GO!" I said, and they ran off. About two seconds later, they both came back, neck and neck.

"I so won that." Emmett said

"No, I did." Jasper said

"OK, OK!!" I said

"And the winner is………………………..JASPER!" I shouted

"YES! Haha Emmett. I get your car!" Jasper said

"NO! What? No way!" Emmett said

"Sorry Emmett." I said

"Emmett, come and look at the news." Carlisle said, but with a tone in his voice that meant something very bad had just happened. I felt sorry for Emmett.

"Erm, yes?" he said

We ran inside, and started at the TV screen.

"Oh no." Emmett whispered

We all stared at the news, showing hundreds of white, red – eyed squirrels in Seattle park.

"No way." I said

FIN


End file.
